Yesterday night I was just browsing through Facebook - 'self-stalk' if you may call it. Wow. Facebook documented eveything I said since I joined the social media website. I guess it gives me an easy way to retrace my thoughts and my feelings through time - timeline, still remember how much people hated it, but now it is accepted as part of life - humans, aren't we prone to change?
It gives me some melancholic feelings as I scrolled through the pictures, watched the videos. How many people have walked in and then out of my life and I didn't know much about them? The only thing I can comfort myself with when I was thinking of that is - at least I still have a group of them in my life at this point in time, and I enjoy their friendship, no pretense needed.
Being through 25 years of life made me realise how much I have. Nothing can replace all these people that I love dearly, because God has placed them into my life. And yes I still enjoy solitude, that is when I spend time and write things like this, but I have also grown to enjoy people's company. Maybe that is a reason I don't see myself getting into a relationship any time soon? And pastor's sermon series is spot on for this kind of time when people are giving pressure on you to be in a relationship.
One of my birthday wishes (I am greedy isn't it haha) is so I will live close to my heavenly Father. This whole year has been a blessing. Although it started out as uncertain and tough, now I have an intern position in an architecture firm. I am also sure that the steps ahead will be shown to me as I learn to lean more and more on Him. How is it possible to live a life without knowing what you are here for? It baffles me, like how the Sunday Assemblies baffles me. How is it possible not to think of where you are from, where you will go, why is there war and hunger, why is there conscience and moral, why is there evil, why is there religion, why is there a sense of good and eternity?
It will be a lifelong journey. A journey here on Earth as I travel, not wander (since wander is aimless), through the different times and places, I shall live for what God has planned for the world. Big picture, small steps. Like the little pieces of jigsaw puzzle, slowly but surely, all fall into place and form a beautiful picture.
Lastly, something close to heart.
After every course there is a pen from Curtin Survey Office if you completed the Australian Graduate Survey. When I completed my bachelor's I was thinking what to put down to be engraved. As you can see I have decided on "salt of the earth". I wasn't sure if I can complete my Master's as the design components are significantly larger and I was mediocre at it - while my scholarship condition demands me to have at least a distinction for the semester average.
As I received the next half of the verse "light of the world" yesterday in the mail, things just flashed past my mind as my vision got blurry with tears. These two pens shall be a reminder - a reminder that God is faithful, so I can always tell myself not to worry or stray from His path again.Why run away? Why rebel? Why let your self be blinded?
Ask, and it shall be given.
Seek, and you shall find.
Knock, and the door shall be opened.
He is waiting
With open arms
Stretched wide on that cross.
His love
Drips down the thorn-scarred face
Into the embrace for you.
