For the past month, it's been hard. Yes, it is still hard waking up to face each day, but I have renewed hope, a fresh spirit to move forward. I really appreciate God for placing wonderful family and friends around me during this period of time. I thank you for messages of encouragement, advices on job seeking, trips to fetch me, meals with good fellowship, and even a simple profiterole (they are so good, you just can't not smile while you eat them).
During worship in service, this image came upon my mind: I am actually living in a world that I interact with, there is this invisible bubble that surrounds this world (imagine it as a sphere), the extent of the bubble is the extent of my interactions. Then this bubble is not just 3-dimensional, but 4, because it is in a passage of time (this is where I decided I can't draw it cause I've no idea of how to draw time). Zoom out. There you see a pair of hands holding your bubble of world, not just the current bubble, but the bubble within the whole passage of time.
Looking back, I started to count my blessings. I have a good family, never needed to worry about finances, we are not rich, but we have enough. I have loving parents, who taught me my priorities in life. I always had good teachers, because when I transferred into a new primary school, there was a capable headmaster; when I transferred into a new secondary school, there was an extraordinary principal; when I studied in a college, the extraordinary principal actually retired and is hired by the college as the CEO. I had great friends when I began my uni, and a chance to serve God again after I had backslid. And, here I am, blessed with a house owned by a friend, a bicycle I bought super-cheap from a friend, and a casual job introduced by my housemate.
I had doubts during the past month. The few rejection emails that I got made me unsure whether I should actually stay here. I am weak, for I know there are many cases of whom sent out hundreds of emails and all rejected, and yet they persevered. These stories didn't come as encouragement, but rather made me quite depressed from realising how I've not tried hard enough. I came up with excuses for myself, that I didn't want to apply to just any firm, that I might be stuck working with a bad firm, that I will be doing things that I don't intend to do. I didn't want to leave because I just spent a fortune (well, not quite a fortune for a lot of people, but for me it is a fortune) applying graduate visa.
But, I realise I have been selfish. Selfish in the sense that I have been looking on to my own strength to do things; and I only considered for myself, what I can gain from them. With a heavy heart I came once again to Jesus in my prayers, there I find peace and acceptance. God has led me through my life, and He has supplied me along the way, why don't I continue to trust in His sovereignty and just treasure all that He has given me? Now I have some contacts to firms, I should take hold of them and try to apply, and continue to do so, I should do well for a research paper that I am given opportunity to participate in; I should be a blessing to those around me, especially to my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Yesterday is the last day of a month's period for me that I am in Perth. Today marks the beginning of my journey with hope. Time and time again I may still be worrying or refuse to get out of bed to face the day, but I know I am not alone in this journey, for Jesus is with me, and through Him, all the relationships that He places in my life.
This is the week leading to Good Friday and then Easter Sunday. It commemorates an event that is so significant for humankind, not just for the Jews, not just for the Christians, but a message of good news for every single soul in this world.
About 2000+ years ago, God came as man. Born as flesh-and-blood human, He came and preached salvation, died although sinless on a Friday. The disciples lost all hope as they saw Him dead on the cross and placed in a tomb. But, on Sunday, as dawn breaks, Jesus has risen so that we will have hope in His salvation.
The cruel death sentence tool is thus changed, given a new meaning, a meaning of life.
