So many things to do. It is so hard to just be quiet, and be still. It feels just like storms, one coming after another, no one's life is ever just peaceful.
Today, I heard this sermon about the storms in life. Amist all my scrambled thoughts of life and worrying about things that are in my life, I decided to take this night off to just reflect about certain parts of the journey of my life as I walk step by step through the time on Earth.
I think I am a person who don't like to talk much, because I just enjoy being by myself and write things or draw things. Well, I enjoy being with friends, and I will throw in some 'witty' lines here and there, but I just generally enjoy watching everyone be with each other. I like to be in activities together with my friends, worry about life together, and celebrating life together.
From young, I am always cherished by my family, because I have the priviledge of the first-born. Those times, when LEGO is not expensive and wheel-barrow is my favourite mode of transportation, are simple and worry-free. Then in school, I have the support of family to do well, and I enjoyed studying because I will get praised and get friends from there. I always strive to do well, and partly becomes my responsibility, as I wanted to get scholarship to study in university. I didn't worry because I got the best-ever result I could get in SPM.
I think that is when my first storm came. All my classmates who got good results got interviews from scholarship, but not me. I could not even get an interview from JPA despite having a good result. That time I have accepted Christ as my saviour, but I did not really have any relationship with God besides praying when I am sad and before each exam (ah hem...and also for girls I had a crush on). Well, in the end, I went to a local college which offered me scholarship to study my A-levels, and stayed in Miri for another 2 years. God used this time I was home, I had a lot of time, so I decided to join church and activities. As I gradually tasted the truth in the Bible, I wanted to know more, so I read, a lot, and grew in knowledge.
Well, storms come and go, and I really see how God has prepared for me to know Him. I struggled by myself, only to realise that I have no control over a lot of the circumstances in my life. I pray that I will not let go of this rope of hope again, and just hold on to it as I walk on the stormy seas with my Father.
