After reviewed with lecturer yesterday, I was working hard on my design. So pressured, after I got the review, I was reminded of the amount of work that I need to complete before tomorrow afternoon's critic session. On my way back to get my car, steps are heavy, squeezed a bit of smile when met other students walking to university. Night sky fell early, the air was cold, but not enough to calm my turbulent mind. While unlocking my car, I looked up into the starry canvas. While I drove, everything started to become blurry, headlights merged with street lights. Come on, why are you crying. I said to myself. This is such a difficult course to study, I was never good at design, and I felt like giving up.
Today, I woke up at 5am to do design. My rusty CAD skills failed to improve the speed of drawing. I was so frustrated. Laptop is so lagging, whenever I use SketchUp it just halts every now and then. I decided to do hand drawing with printouts as guide.
I thought I am strong enough to take pressure on, since I need to do well since my first year to continue my course. But, I failed to cope with the pressure today. Here I am, looking out of my window, yearning to be freed from assignments and study, why am I so poor that I cannot afford to get lower marks, I asked, it is just so hard now. Can someone give me a hug and comfort me? I thought I can be alone, but not now. I pray, to be still, and know You are God.
